What do you call the second?  Number 2?  the new baby?  Miles’ brother or sister?  This baby?  From the very start, it seems obvious that things are going to be different.  However, this pregnancy made itself known much as the first – a negative test followed by symptoms that were obvious to me, but that I pushed to the side since the pregnancy test was negative.  Then another test a week later that I didn’t need to look at the second purple line slowly fading in on a Saturday afternoon to know it would grow to be two solid distinct lines indicating that another life was forming within.  Physical signs this time included fatigue, extreme hunger but loss of sweet tooth (seriously, I turned down cheesecake), almost vomiting from garbage truck and durian smells (but that’s normal, right?), and a distinct metallic taste when I drank cold water.  It’s not jetlag or not being used to the heat – we’re expecting a baby!

Expected Date of Delivery: 12/25/2011.  Christmas.

Since Miles was born I knew I wanted another one, soon.  Close together so they can play with the same kind of toys, enjoy the same kind of things.  We decided to wait until Miles’ first birthday to start trying again.  Mother nature made sure that was possible, the hormones released from breastfeeding kept my fertility at bay until I completely weaned Miles at 13 months.  A single visit from my old friend and its gone again, perhaps for another 2 years.  So we had planned on this, and we got what we planned for.

We’ll have this baby in Malaysia.  Its a US export, since it was certainly conceived on our last visit there.  The hospitals are great here, medical care is advanced and I know lots of moms who have had babies here.  But here’s the fact: I will have this baby in a hospital.  Not a suped-up B&B with a jacuzzi tub like we had in Austin.  That is kind of a hard bite to swallow, but it will be an experience.  The OB we see actually does do waterbirths, in a large tub in the middle of a (freezing ACed sterile) hospital room.  It worked out well for me last time, perhaps I can try again.

I wanted to keep a little blog of what is going on with this tiny little seed inside of me right now.  Of course I won’t share it publicly until I am good and ready.  Lots of this will be post-dated.

Five weeks(4/26):  I went in for a super early scan to see what’s up in there.  I

See the little black dot left from center?

didn’t go into the doctor for Miles until I was 11 weeks.  Turns out there wasn’t much to see, just a tiny little water sack stuck to the side of my uterus.  Wow!  It’s really real.  I’m feeling OK.  Slight tingling under my tongue, a reaction to the bile leaking up my esophagus, I assume.  Eating suppresses it.  And eat I shouild!  A recent flare up of my Graves disease (controlled now – all levels normal!) left me a bit underweight.  I am starting this pregnancy off 10lbs less than I was with Miles, only a pound up from where I was at my lowest-morning-sickness-low.  At 130lb (59 kg), I am trying my best to gain a bit before week 7 and the highly anticipated real fun begins.  My fingers are crossed, I am eating beans like a madwoman, but unfortunately the thyroid hormones can act like the morning sickness hormone and so I am pre-disposed to 6 weeks of misery.  Tim and I have moments where we look at Miles, than at each other and think, can we do this?  The baby is apparently the size of a poppy seed, and Tim has taken to calling him/her “kas kas”, Tamil (south Indian) for poppy seed.

Seven Weeks(5/9): I am slowly emerging from what I hope will be noted down

Look between the X's

as the worst week of this pregnancy.  I started throwing up over a week ago.  I was 5 weeks pregnant.  Not good.  It escalated until I was visiting the toilet (to puke) every hour and Miles had abandoned his initial scared reaction of mom throwing up and was pretending to throw up too.  I was pretty dehydrated, and looked gaunt and sick.  I had no energy.  Screw you, bean cure.  I couldn’t keep down water.  So I called the doc and started some OTC anti nausea drugs.  He wanted to check me in over night and hydrate me, I opted to do that alone at home, but it took days until I could stand without being dizzy.  Finally 5 days later, I am feeling better.  Vomiting has reduced significantly, to just once and a while, and I am feeling more like myself.  Well, a very tired pregnant version of myself.

We went in for scan #2 today, an abdominal US that showed us a tiny 7mm baby with a tiny beating heart.  I measured exactly 7 wks 0 days, which is right on.  We’re not out of the woods, but the beating heart assured us this is a viable life inside, so we’re starting to spread the news.  Not on the blog, though.  Not just yet…

Eight Weeks (5/18): Time is crawling by.  Days feel like months, a week a year.  I’m trying to take this one minute at a time, but I am getting a bit sick of being sick.  So often I find myself right on the edge, just hanging on.  This will go on for an hour or more before I finally either slide into sleep or end up with my head over the toilet.  Its taking its toll not only on me, but on Tim and Miles, who if they are lucky get a tiny fraction of the mom and wife I was 3 weeks ago.  It gives me a new appreciation for people who live through serious illness, and a deep appreciation that there is a light at the end of this very short tunnel.

Ten Weeks (5/31/2011): Things are settling down, and I realize that if I just don’t get too tired out I can manage this pretty well.  We had visitors from Singapore, and I am so grateful for their easygoing attitude that allowed us to just chill most of their visit.  Last weekend we went away to Pangkor Island and I ate and ate and never threw up.  It was a great weekend, reminicient of the trip we made to CO when I was 9 weeks preggo with Miles, not the weather or surroundings at all, just the change of scenery that allowed me to break out of the sick routine.  Another thing is that one night before I went to sleep, I was just laying there and felt some kind of distinct movement in my low belly I could not write off to indigestion.  Not sure if this walnut sized little one to recently be upgraded to fetus is capable of any kicks yet, but I might have felt it…  Help arrives in one week in the form of family, and I can’t wait.  Miles will be happy too 🙂

People ask me if I am having cravings.  Well, I can’t eat almost everything, opening the fridge or freezer is sure to set off some retching, but I do experience cravings.  In the form of I must eat this now cravings.  My shopping cart is sad: beef, bacon (the imported, pork kind), mac & cheese.  I want Chili’s and BLTs and pizza.  Western food for sure (one Thai craving was discovered to be sorely misguided).  I want sandwiches.  Fricano’s spicy Reuben with Boar’s head meat on good rye bread, grilled in a panini press.  The closest we have is subway.  Very, very sad.  Last night it was roast chicken dinner (not the first for this particular craving, the last was satisfied by KFC).  I had been on the couch nearly all day when I bounded into action for this 30 minute cook-a-thon which produced chicken, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy and salad.  At least this stuff is going down and staying down (for the most part).  Still no weight gain, I hover at 124 lbs.

(almost) Twelve weeks (6/10):  My sister came early and has been here all week.  She’s excellent at getting in the kitchen and making up what I need, bringing me water, keeping the dishes done, keeping my mind elsewhere.  Then Tim’s parents arrived and some more help in the form of diversions for both me and Miles.  I’m still tired, throwing up about once a day, but being in the double digit weeks and so close to what I hope is the end of this puts my mind at ease.  Scrambled eggs are awesome.

Tim came with me for another check up.  I asked for Zofran, a strong anti-nausea

a calm baby

drug meant for chemo patients but often described for pregnant ladies in the states.  The OB responded shocked, and told me I didn’t need that.  I guess he is a bit more conservative than I gave him credit for, and for that I’m glad.  Still no miracle drugs for me to take to Borneo (a 9 day vacation I had planned for us all with some hope of being OK by then).  He promised things would get better 1-2 weeks tops, and we went on to the real fun.  The abdominal ultrasound immediately displayed the complete profile of a BIG and fully formed baby!  Holy crap!  By big I mean 5cm (2″), but it looked big on that screen.  Doc froze the screen and took some measurements – neck fat, nasal bone and spinal – that were all normal indicating the lack of likelyhood of certain chromosomal deformities.  He kept saying “beautiful!” “perfect position”, making Tim and I think we had another ham-bone on our hands (Miles loves being cute in front of others).  Once he unfroze the screen, we noticed something else a little different about this one.  We remember distinctly watching Miles the Mexican Jumping Bean on the screen of our 12 week ultrasounds – never still for a minute.  This one was calm, slowly rolling onto its side and then back over waving arms and legs up in the air.  We smiled at each other – is it a sign?  We are going to get an angel baby?  Of course we would welcome another active spirited child to our family with open arms, but that glimmer of something different was fun.

Twelve weeks, 6 days (6/19):  Back from Borneo, 9 days of no puking, no meds, (relative) relaxation.  It was a good holiday.  I ate what I needed to – mainly in the form of massive amounts of western food (especially toast with butter and jam) and satisfied strong cravings (mostly for watery fruit).  Tim was there with Miles and family carried some of the burden – literally for Aunt May in Kuching.  I’ll write more in the trip report.

I was feeling great – my belly is swelling so that evenings I look obviously pregnant.  I took long rests in the afternoon while Miles napped and went to bed early with him at night.  Then maybe the traveling caught up with me, and not an hour after getting home, I was back at the toilet.  Maybe it was opening the fridge again.  In any case, I hope this passes, quick.  There’s only a week left in this first trimester.

Fourteen Weeks (6/27): Today marks the end of the first trimester and the start of the (glorious, motivated, energetic, I am hoping) second.  I’m eating, it’s been almost a week since I threw up.  I’ve been craving, and eating, healthy things like veggies and fish.  Still tired, but I’ve managed a few late nights as well.  I’m getting a bit thicker around the middle, and the bump is obvious if I stand with bad posture (when I hold Miles!) or at the end of the day.  I’m looking forward to the time ahead, and can officially say I am done with being sick!  (**hour later update – not done with being sick apparently, but definitely through the worst of it)  In fact, I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and the slope is looking positive for the next 26 weeks.  Bring on the elastic waistband.

14 weeks - a little bump 🙂